Fall Into Freedom Free Articles

          The Three Secrets of Happy Relationships

   Did you know that nothing is really secret? Nothing! All the
solutions to happy relationships are right before our eyes. Every
wonderful, glorious aspect of the original nature of human nature
can be seen in Mother Nature’s perfect relationship with herself.
Nature is the window to the soul, humanities garden of Paradise.
Stand naked in nature and awaken to your soul, for it is your
happiness waiting to happen.
    Your birthright is happiness. Why? Because your soul is a divine,
eternal aspect of a perfect universe as expressed in nature’s
perfection. In your soul, in every atom of your body lies all the love
and wisdom found in the nature of the universe. All the learned
lessons, the universal laws, the creative arts, the knowledge since
the beginning of time are recorded there. The answer to every
question, the solution to every problem lies inside each of us.
    We are born knowing that happiness (spiritual nature) is the
original nature of human nature because the love and wisdom in our
souls sound loud and clear in our minds. So why, as adults, are
there so few truly happy people, so few really happy relationships?
What the heck happened to all that love and wisdom born of our
souls? I found out what happened by pioneering a philosophy of
love, and it was so important for me to share that philosophy with the
world, I spent seventeen years researching, studying, and writing a
book—Fall Into Freedom: An Affair Inspires One Woman’s Search for
Truth—www.fallintofreedom.com—whose three keys to happiness
solve the mystery of happy relationships. Here is my two-point
snapshot of what the heck happened to happiness and The
Philosophy of how to get it back:

    1) Psychological Healing: As discussed above, when we are born
our conscious minds are directly connected to the love and wisdom
in our souls. The voice of our souls live in our subconscious mind
telling our conscious mind that we are divine, eternal sparks of the
substance—light—that fills the universe. What results from love,
wisdom, divinity, and eternity is a natural way of feeling happy. At
birth our souls know the purpose of our lives. It gives us this
information by way of our feelings.
    To varying degrees after birth, our caretakers guide us in ways
that serve their feelings about who they think we should be instead
of serving our soul feelings. Any person directing us against our
natural soul feeling hurts our happy feelings, turning happy feelings
into hurt feelings. Hurt feelings are the root cause of unhappiness.
Unhealed hurt feelings turn into pain, then anger, then hate, then
fear. This is called fear conditioning. While growing up, every time
we hear the word, “no,” we fall a little more into fear.
    The fear that results from hurt feelings is stored in our
subconscious with the love in our soul. At this point, the
subconscious contains both fear and love. As time passes, and hurt
feelings mount, fear begins to fill up the subconscious, pushing the
voice of the soul into the far reaches of the subconscious where the
consciousness can barely hear it. The loving voice that gives us our
individual purpose and the wisdom that we are divine, eternal
beings has been silenced by the loud voices in our environment.
    As the soul feelings in the subconscious are light, making us
happy, the fear feelings in the subconscious are dark, making us
unhappy. But since the hurt feelings that led to the fear are
subconscious, we don’t know why we are unhappy. We are unhappy
because the subconscious has great power over the
consciousness. The symptoms of our subconscious fear cause
feelings such as anger, blame, and judgment. To stay in denial of
the hurt feelings that led to fear, anger, blame and judgment are
projected into others. Projection can lead to things like fights, affairs,
divorce, multiple breakups, etc. Projection justifies all kinds of
destructive behaviors that cause unhappy relationships.
    But alas! There is a solution, a way to free the subconscious from
fear, reconnect with the voice of the soul, and have happy
relationships. The hurt feelings that are the root cause of fear can be
revealed to be healed. By making the subconscious conscious, we
can seek, find, and heal hurt feelings. One way to do that is by
understanding that our projected feelings are ours alone. Our
relationships with others are a reflection of our relationship with
ourselves, a result of childhood fear conditioning. We are attracted to
people with fear/love conditioning similar to ours and visa versa. For
better and for worse, that is what marriage is all about!
    We must take responsibility to heal the hurt child in ourselves.
That requires going back into those feelings and getting them up
and out. This process frees the subconscious from the dark side,
allowing the light to shine through. When the light of the soul shines
through, we are once again happy. And since our relationships with
others are a reflection of our relationship with ourselves, we will
have happy relationships, be it romantic, parent/child, friendship, co-
worker, even strangers. (See Fall Into Freedom for detailed
examples and explanation.)

    2) Spiritual Healing: Our minds can directly connect with our souls
during the process of psychological healing through meditation.
Meditation speeds the healing process and leads to spiritual
enlightenment. The soul must be personally experienced to end
doubt that all souls are a divine, eternal aspect of the universe. To
meditate all conscious thoughts are silenced. We enter a void of
silence. In the void our soul, which is one with Universal Soul, or
what I call Universal Spirit (US), connects directly with our mind and
gives us whatever information is most important for us to have. As
an example of meditation, here is an excerpt from Fall Into Freedom:

My eyes were closed, but I felt more awake in this unseen universe
than in my seen universe. The knowledge I received felt profoundly
correct. The information was a revelation. Revelations were
awakening me to truths I had kept sleeping in the far reaches of my
mind. The void felt as if I were viewing myself from the outside in. All
my thoughts and feelings were an objective experience. I had been
in complete denial of how John’s [my husband had been verbally
abusing me for eighteen years] words affected me. Because falling
into the void stopped conscious thought and painful emotion, the
need for denial vanished. With denial at rest, my repressions
streamed forth from my subconscious mind and flowed directly into
my conscious mind. Forcing me out of denial by awakening my
conscious mind to my truth, universal consciousness was making
my subconscious conscious! Revelations were transforming me
from the darkness of unknowing to the light of knowing. . . .

I remembered hearing that every atom in the human body is the
exact replica of the universe, a miniature solar system of electrons
spiraling a nucleus like planets around the sun. Contained in each
atom is all the information that has ever been. Quantum physics
found that everything in known solar systems is made out of the
same atoms, bodies of atomic energy differentiating themselves by
frequency and pattern. Filled with revelations, meditation was
showing me that my body confirmed scientific fact. For when my
consciousness ascended into this dimension of higher frequency,
dispersing the clutter of ego, both knowledge and knowingness were
inescapable. Since the physical self and universal self were made
out of the exact same atoms, discovery of truth was an eventual
certainty, not only for me, but for everybody.

To my happy surprise, with truth came the solution to every mystery.
The loving frequency of the union of human and divine made me
feel so safe in the resolution of each mysterious behavior, I found
myself a willing participant in seeking, finding, and understanding
the thoughts, words, and deeds that made John and I partners in the
crime of denial. By making my subconscious conscious, meditation
was ripping away one denial at a time, helping me see how we had
been struggling to hold on to past sorrows at the cost of present
happiness. Unmasked were secret thoughts and feelings to which
our marriage had become a slave, those repressed thoughts and
feelings harvesting the ongoing drama of our marriage.

A higher consciousness was making my consciousness aware that
the seeking determined the finding of truth. All the repressed
thoughts and feelings that caused my fear had to be revealed to be
healed. Revealing then purifying repressions with understanding,
forgiveness, and compassion was the initiatory journey to becoming
the person I wanted to be.

In the void, miraculous discoveries both wonderful and awful
contained no judgment about the truths they revealed. Oneness with
the universe demonstrated that a humanity void of fear, judgment,
and blame and full of understanding, forgiveness, and compassion
would reveal win/lose battles to be archaic blunders. A humanity
who understood that the darkness of war, personal or global, had no
chance of driving out the darkness of fear. A humanity who
understood that only love could drive out the darkness of fear would
change the world.

    As I said, there are no secrets. In the next section, when I tell you
what the three secrets to happy relationships are, it will be as if you
already knew them, like you are remembering something you
already knew. That is called knowingness.

    The Philosophy’s three secrets of happy relationships: I call these
three secrets the three keys to happiness because they are the
definition of love, the love we are all learning to give ourselves, our
loved ones, and the world. The three keys are understanding,
forgiveness, and compassion—UFC©. Every time we understand a
behavior we are more able to forgive. Every time we forgive a
behavior we are more able to have compassion. And every time we
have more compassion for a behavior, we grow in love. There is no
forgiveness without understanding, no compassion without
forgiveness, no love without compassion, and no happiness without
love. (UFC does not null responsibility or accountability, nor does it
mean staying in an abusive relationship.) UFC is the expression of
the wisdom in our souls. Love expressed as UFC, combined with
meditation is The Philosophy I pioneered while confronting,
overcoming, and transcending a fall into fear catalyzed by my
husband’s affair, the theme of Fall Into Freedom.

    In essence, my fall was an act of grace, for only when I fell into
fear, did I begin my search for my truth, my denied fears. And my
search catalyzed that deep, profound meditation in the excerpt. In
meditation, when my silenced mind was one with Universal Spirit—
US—I experienced the love and wisdom of my divine, eternal self, my
soul. Experiencing my soul taught me the truth that the original
nature of human nature is spirit. The truth will set you free!

Psychological and spiritual healing spiritualizes human nature and
is the meaning of life. Spiritualizing our human nature is the only way
to happiness. Our minds co-creating with our soul is the only
freedom. The Philosophy of UFC + US is the process of going from
fear to love. It is a model of psychological and spiritual
enlightenment that can be use by anyone to have happy, healthy
relationships. Seeking the soul determines the finding of the garden
of Paradise. Mystery solved!